RhodyRaybo's blog

I have been active in wrestling since July 5th, 2011 when I had my first match. As of today, July 18th 2012, I have had my 75th match as of last night. I am in chat rooms of another site and message guys on other sites quite frequently. When I tell them of my activity, the question I get asked the most is "how do you do it?". I answer that I'm a "persistent bugger". But in the last 13 months and all the matches I've had with 29 different opponents, I've learned a few things. So if you'd like matches that are more in quantity AND quality, then follow a few guidelines that I've learned.

First, if you can find a way to host, do it! There are so many guys who want to wrestle, but genuinely cannot host. But, if you can provide a discreet, safe environment where your guest's privacy will be assured, I guarantee, you'll not only have matches, but semi-regulars like I do. If you live alone, then you should be able to do this unless you live in a large complex with paper-thin walls. For those of you who don't live alone, maybe it's time to talk to the wife, roommate, parent, girlfriend, or whoever that you are into wrestling. There are gradual ways to build up to the subject with the other person. Me, however, I just blurted it right out. I figured my wife would understand that I would not do anything outside of established boundaries, and she did. Her concern was me getting injured. I have a finished basement that I wrestle in. There is a door in the back of the house that goes directly into the basement. My opponents enter and go directly down there with nobody from the family ever seeing them enter or leave. It is well understood with my family that when Dad is down there wrestling, keep out unless there is a dire emergency. I tell them if they need to communicate, call the cell phone which I always have nearby while wrestling. Out of 23 guys who have come to the house, only 2 have met my wife and that was only because they wanted to. Also, my wife never watches. She has no interest. So hosting is key to having frequent matches.

Second, while communicating with prospective opponents, always be as detailed as possible about wrestling. What style you do, your willingness to adapt to his style, what gear is worn (if any), will water be provided, and boundaries. Be up front on how you handle "boning up". It's very embarrassing to your guest if he makes an assumption and you have to yell "Stop!" when he makes a move that he thought would be acceptable to you. Also be up front about what holds you like and whether you're into hugging and cuddling. I've wrestled several gay men who were very respectful of my boundaries and a few married men who were not. Communication is essential to mutual fun. And, boundaries are not just limited to physical contact, there are emotional boundaries as well. I've made close friends with several of my opponents, but there are those who are interested only in the wrestling itself. They could care less about you personally. Be prepared for this. Some you will click with, others, not so much.

Another way to get matches is to be persistent. Grab every opportunity and outlet to make contacts. I keep an ad on Craig's List and utilize the wrestling social sites. Most of them are free, but some have a "premium" membership that requires payment. Usually the free option works if you don't mind spending time in the chat rooms. I was on one site that required payment for any membership and it was full of videos, stories, pictures, and forums, but very little, if any actual contact. I didn't renew my membership when it expired. Persistence will also mean being flexible. Do you want to wrestle someone, but he wants you to job? Do it. If something is within your boundaries, but maybe not your first inclination, make an adjustment. You might just like it. Also, remember to follow up. After a match, send a message thanking him for coming and telling him that you had a good time. Keep in touch. Chat with them in the "rooms". Send an occasional, "hi there". That is key to getting guys you enjoyed wrestling back. And also, if a prospective opponent only wants to communicate with you but can't meet right away, then by all means, communicate with him. I have 2 buddies that I have never met but hope to someday that I "instant message" with constantly. I am hoping that we will wrestle one day. But that won't happen if I don't exercise some patience and friendship.

Next, be aware of red flags. If a wrestling buddy warns you about someone that you've made contact with, take the warning seriously. Also, when one immediately starts talking about sexual encounters or send explicit photos when all you want to do is wrestle, just say right away..."sorry, not into that". If they're willing to forgo that, then there's a chance of an actual match. But in most cases, you won't hear back from them. Also, when the initial match is cancelled by the other person and they express no desire to reschedule, then move on. It ain't gonna happen. Out of all the initial matches that were canceled on me, (literally dozens) only one was rescheduled some time later.

And finally, I have discovered that one should never be discouraged by setbacks. If you really love something, in this case wrestling, setbacks will happen. But your love for the activity will motivate you to keep plugging away. It's a lot like life, actually. Had a no-show? Keep plugging. A match got too rough and you got injured? Happened to me. Take some time off for healing then get back into it, but LEARN from the experience. I now request my opponents to refrain from pouncing on me because that's how I got 2 out my 3 injuries. Match too brief? Match got "hotter" than you wanted? Did a "cum" when you tried not to? Opponent was a jerk? These are disappointing, but don't let the disappointments discourage you. I've learned there are so many decent guys who love grappling who will do what they can to meet you halfway. But be discerning too. Don't compromise what's most important to you. Learn what are the "must-haves" in an opponent and what is negotiable. I for one love to spend time hugging my wrestling buddies. But if someone who wants to grapple doesn't go for that, then it's not on the agenda.

Well, that's about all I wanted to say. 75 matches in a little over a year's time? I in no way imagined I would be doing that much when I started. And they haven't all been the same. I've jobbed, heeled, done sub, exchanged holds, and some matches were more talking than wrestling. Some matches exceeded my expectations. Some were duds. In this activity one needs to take the bad with the good. But keep plugging. Hang on the sites, and do what you can to make the match not only happen but to be one you'll look back on fondly for months to come.