ELCruzado's blog

What is ELCRUZADO?

I've basically named my fetish & sexuality ELCRUZADO as a stand in explanation for my extremely unique paraphilic attraction. An attraction so powerful, it has almost become a force. The general overtone of my fetish is an attraction to sports/outdoor oriented masculinity/manliness and non-sexual male bonding/camaraderie.

There are several interconnected/interdependent components to my fetish, which makes me a very complex & hyper-specific individual in terms of my asexuality. The ONLY THING that attracts me to a man is legs in athletic CREW socks (NOT personality socks or ankle socks whatsoever) Rugby/Soccer/Dress socks are a 50/50 depending on the legs. While many perceive this as a form of Podophilia (Foot Fetishism) my primary attraction is how legs/calves look in socks as opposed to the feet themselves (I.E. gym shorts & crew socks) I do appreciate a nice sweat/funk foot smell but more so as an accessory to the overall attraction (it’s not a KEY necessity, but a preferable one). I'm not exactly sure where this attraction came from, but I've been like this since I was kid. I was never molested or sexually compromised during my upbringing, it's almost like I was LITERALLY BORN this way.

I am primarily drawn to the concept of wrestling/rough housing/tackle football/rugby in crew socks and other athletic oriented gear (I.E. compression shorts, soccer shorts, wrestling trunks etc.) While I am aware that the vast majority of society would perceive this as “gay”/”homo” etc. and while I find absolutely nothing wrong with anyone’s sexual preference/identity, I can’t stress enough that at this particular time in my life, I have NO DESIRE to engage in sexual activity with another man (this includes, but is not limited to, kissing, holding hands, sexual intercourse, oral intercourse etc.)…and yes, I am still a virgin.

My hyper-specific gear attraction functions as an integrated unit with my desire to engage in physical sports type contact with dudes. I DO enjoy, tests of strengths, wrestling, tackling, “man-smell”, sweat, grunting, being crushed by bigger guys, dog piles (football/rugby piles…NOT SEXUAL orgies) and pretty much anything that is representative of men trying to dominate one another competitively in a highly physical manner, or even working out in perhaps sweaty socks/shorts with another dude. The thought of me being a crushed in a football/rugby pile of men (all in crew socks/shorts) or wrestling with a man while wearing this particular gear are the only things that seems to interest me. An ideal relationship for one like myself would simply be a “sports bro” that I can engage in these things with, someone to play video games with, wrestle around with, work out etc.

I have had professional help on several occasions in regards to this “problem”. Virtually all of the psychoanalyst/psychologist I have spoken with over the years have given me the unanimous answer that I need to “exercise it” and “get out of my system". According to the science world, this is the definition of a “psychological hang up”. This unfortunately leaves me in a gray area because my desires do not pose an imminent threat to anyone or myself. Others say I just need some active male friends, either way it’s something I’m desperately trying to connect with others on and this is one of the few vessels I’m using for active pursuit.

So here I am… trying to make fantasy..reality? Or as the therapist said “exercise it and get it out of your system” and hopefully one day meet a guy(s) that can convince me I’m not the only person on earth living like this.